Everyone knows that classic teen movie scene: the fairy-tale first time with the candles, romance and perfect sex. But sex isn’t always what it is in the movies. In fact, it almost never is. Put two people together with little to no sexual experience, and you’re in for a much different experience than the glamorous and effortless sex scenes of many teen movies. Not to mention many of these films neglect real-life issues: sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), consent and discussions about birth control and possible pregnancy. The players are always heterosexual; rarely do the fairy-tale first times delve into the queer realm and same-sex relationships. Oh, and the assumption is you live happily ever after with your first partner, which almost never happens. Your first time may be awkward, funny or uncomfortable, but it likely won’t be a pretty movie. Sorry to break the rose-colored glasses, but it’s time for some real first times.
Eighteen-year-old Matt of New Jersey had this to say about the first time. “Everyone thinks that sex is the best thing ever or that their first time is the best thing ever, but it isn’t.” Matt goes on to say, “There is this facade that you will end up loving the first person you have sex with. I haven’t talked to him in forever. The whole fairytale of the rainbows and sunshine is all a lie.”
Sex can be romantic, don’t get us wrong. But regardless of how much you prepared by discussing safer sex and using condoms and/or using hormonal birth control, sex can still be weird the first time, and that’s OK. It can take some time and lots of communication to get the romance you may be looking for.
If you’re having sex to maintain a relationship or cure a broken one, it can be even more awkward.
“My first time was so awkward,” explains Erica, 17, of Nebraska. “It was with my ex-boyfriend the morning after prom in the back seat of his car. I thought the sex would make things better between us. The passion and emotions were there, temporarily I guess. Afterwards, I hated him more than ever, and he didn’t even speak to me until months later. I lost my boy and my virginity. It’s sad.”
Eighteen-year-old Matt of New Jersey had this to say about the first time. “Everyone thinks that sex is the best thing ever or that their first time is the best thing ever, but it isn’t.” Matt goes on to say, “There is this facade that you will end up loving the first person you have sex with. I haven’t talked to him in forever. The whole fairytale of the rainbows and sunshine is all a lie.”
Sex can be romantic, don’t get us wrong. But regardless of how much you prepared by discussing safer sex and using condoms and/or using hormonal birth control, sex can still be weird the first time, and that’s OK. It can take some time and lots of communication to get the romance you may be looking for.
If you’re having sex to maintain a relationship or cure a broken one, it can be even more awkward.
“My first time was so awkward,” explains Erica, 17, of Nebraska. “It was with my ex-boyfriend the morning after prom in the back seat of his car. I thought the sex would make things better between us. The passion and emotions were there, temporarily I guess. Afterwards, I hated him more than ever, and he didn’t even speak to me until months later. I lost my boy and my virginity. It’s sad.”
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